trash talker
SIDEWAY SLIPPERS

I'll hide who I am. I'm barely legal yet I know things not really fit for my age. I'm a self-proclaimed know-it-all, I know things but it dawns on me once in a while that I don't know EVERYthing. I'm open minded and I can talk a lot about things, things that kids my age shouldn't talk about, serious things that take it's toll on my screwed up life. But after all, I'm a 17 year old, and that's still an excuse for talking like a love struck OMGZ!tweeny. Oh, and I have minor inferiority complex.

I'm a part time lover
and a full time friend, I could be
a monkey on your back.

one year early
I first made this blog to create the "musings of a barely legal 17 year old" hence the name ONE YEAR EARLY. I don't post here often, and one day I came across it and realized the last few posts were about my crappy love life. Yeah, shitloads of crap, I then thought, wow, I could be on to something. So instead of making this a sappy love blog, I just thought of making this an anonymous blog since nobody really reads it.

This shit is so PETE WENTZ.

credit
skin by heroine
{ Monday, September 8, 2008 }
{ confession of innocence. }

in this war,
the tears in my eyes 
says it all.

I LIE...  A LOT.

I tell tales that never happened to me.
I pretend to know things.
I pretend to have experienced things that I never encountered. 
I have a struggle within, a fight between the real world and my utopia.

I learn things.
Some goes through my thick head easily,
Some takes time to set in,
Some never penetrate my thoughts.

I fell.
In love with a person whom I never ever seen before.
I told many lies about him, how he looks, how he touches, how he tells me he loves me.
I thought I knew so much about him.
But to face the fact that I DONT, makes me feel pathetic.

The truth is...
I'm a liar.
I'm a cheater.
I try so hard to fit in.
I'm superficial.
I'm a very bad person.

I never listen.
I want to just believe in myself.
I pretend to listen to advices,
but the truth is
I scrap them and keep doing the WRONG things.

FOR THE 9 FUCKING MONTHS WE'VE HAD THIS "RELATIONSHIP",
I never held his hand
We never walked side by side
I never heard his voice
I never knew what he looks like
I have never hugged him
I have never kissed him
I have never slept beside him
We have never seen each other
Our "relationship" might as well be FAKE
but I still believe that someday,
someday we'll see each other 
and do things every lovers do.

pathetic prentender.

I'm pathetic.

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